Very cool overall. I do have a few comments:

The rhythm of the verse phrases you're doing are a bit more on the beat than what Sting did, especially "walking on the moon". He often (but not always) starts that one a quarter note triplet after the 1...very complex to rhythm to figure out technically so it's easiest to just listen and try to match it. Try pulling up the original version with vocals and comparing - this is a case where you actually may want to sing along - just so you can't hear where you're not matching him rhythmically. And then listen, stop sing it back, etc. and then go back to singing along with it to test out whether you are doing it correctly, until finally you are in the same timing on all the parts.

On the words with "ay" vowels like "take" and "break" (etc.), if you want to sing it more like Sting, you can leave out the diphthong and sing it on one pitch, just the G4. Think of it more like using a narrow eh vowel (listen to the vowel sound Sting uses). This will help reduce your vocal tract shifting anyways.

Again work on your "ing" sounds, you need to really focus on getting your accent out of those. For the singer's accent you can say "walkin'" or "walken'", but make sure it is not "walkayn'" or "walkaan'" and make sure when you transition to the N consonant you don't swallow the sound back. I would highly recommend working with Phil on words in this song or Don't Stop Believing that end with that "ing" and really dialing in a more convincing way to sing them.

Sting is using both more weight and twang than you so you could work on that if you want, although the way you are singing it is perfectly acceptable too, possibly better.

All in all just reference the original recording more and try to match what Sting is doing more and I think you will come a long way.

I didn't really notice that actually, I was talking more about the rhythm of the lower phrases in between the high ones. I'm sure it is not a stamina issue it's just a matter of starting the phrase a bit later - it almost sounds wrong the way Sting does it, but that weird syncopation is part of the style.

IMO this version is WAY better. Very well done, I don't hear any significant problems. We could keep nitpicking little details but what's the use, overall it sounds fantastic. I think any audience would love hearing this. Great work Quentin!

Sorry; I'd like to append this by saying that you did so well on this cover, that I had the song stuck in my head all day with your voice.

VERY well done man.

quentin said
Edit : i am also feeling a bit of pride about having one of the few Youtube covers of this song that is sung in the original key

Yeah I noticed that too; I clicked on a few other covers and very few people are singing in Sting's range.

Heck, Primus covered "Behind My Camel" over other Police songs because Les said Sting's phrases were too challenging!