I was also wondering, that instead of singing in unisson, if one could take a slightly different tone so that the vocals are layered and we can distinguish more the way you complete each other.

Or the idea you suggested of having your part first then Josh.

Marnell Sample said

Adam,

This is the same link as what you originally posted.

It is the same link but I updated it with a new audio file.

This is the same link as what you originally posted.

Two comments on the singing though:
The timing of the first line is too behind the beat / late.

The end, yes it's better but I now IMO it sounds like a Bay showcase and you're just backing him up. It would be cool for you to do a little more there so it still sounds like a mutual gelling, something more like 2 intentionally written vocal parts that support each other with both moments of similarity and contrast.

Some ideas to come up with something more for you to do that works well with his part
1. Harmonize, dude! I know a lot of lead vocalists aren't strong in this regard and will go out of their away to avoid it. But if you can develop it, it's one of the most useful and in-demand skills I've developed as a singer.
2. Simply hold out on of the notes for a longer time while he does the other stuff on top. Rather than cutting yourself off whenever he riffs like you did this time, maybe just continue through for a while.
3. If you want to add a riff of your own try just planning for it to occur in a different range that Bay's and it may work out and sound cool.

Play with any combination of those ideas and you may find there are many more epic options available.

I could honestly just write a complementary part for you in like 5 minutes if you want LOL but I would highly recommend tackling it on your own for the learning experience.

I should add the disclaimer that I'm not sure what you want to hearing in your head there. Maybe you're imagining something simpler, up to you. I just tend to like the complex route so that's what I'm recommending you dive into if you're interested in creating a kind of epic duet moment at the ending. I gravitate toward that stylistically so just consider my critique biased in that direction. But a lot of times simplicity is the answer, like what you did. I just heard an opportunity for something more interesting and more evenly showcasing you and Bay together.

Lemme know what you guys think of this draft - https://app.box.com/s/b0z0zglaqwptc9u6s9tg If this one is good I'll get it up on soundcloud soon.

Thanks

Marnell thanks again for the line by line critique. I will see what I can do to fix these issues.

Good job by both you and Bay. Adam, your voice sounds like it is continuing to get stronger by the week, especially through this G4! I really like the guts and attitude you put into the song. You came in like a cannon on the first line! Very bold and audacious. Bay's voice sounds good too -- clear and soaring.

I agree with the comments said thus far. These are the things I would address. It's mostly pitch issues. I'll leave that last. The other things are some little stylistic things. In the first line, although I like the bold sound you came in with, it was almost too overwhelming. It's like it just came out of nowhere. You can keep a similar intensity and boldness, but mellow it out some by changing the vowel on "along" to the U (as in "book") as we discussed before. This will give a more sweet sound while still sounding authoritative. The way you're doing it now is more like an UH, and that gives it a more bombastic, overwhelming sound, especially for the first line.

0:26 - "cold sweat hot headed believer" -- For me, on this line, you start dragging behind the beat too much. It comes off sounding like you were singing to a different track altogether, as if you used your vocals from another song and put it on top of this one. The piano instrumental is really driving the beat in a particular way, and to my ears, it sounds better if you follow that. If the piano line were more loose, then I would totally go for what you did.

0:35 - "hands in the air" -- This line is flat. It could partly be due to how you were approaching the vowel. I would approach both "hands" and "air" using a more narrow AY vowel.

0:38 - "thing" -- Flat on the first note. It's understandable, though, because this is a tricky phrase to sing since you're coming from your high range and then have to drop straight into a low note and do a quick run off of it! You just have to be mentally prepared for those 3 notes, though. You have to be prepared to hit them sharp and quick, like lightning.

0:44 - "dare" -- I like what you did with the falsetto here -- sounds really cool. But the note is flat, lol. It's because your resonance is too dark. You need to go for a brighter (more child-like) AY sound, even in your falsetto!

0:52 -- "round and a round and a round and a round" -- You start out the first repetition of this phrase well, but with each subsequent repetition, you start to fall flat. This is largely a support and breath management issue. So, you need to mentally conceive of this phrase like this: imagine that the entire phrase is one long crescendo. So the first "round and a" will be at a mediumish volume, the next one goes a little louder, the next one louder, and so on. This will keep better airflow through the phrase, and also from a stylistic standpoint, will sound more interesting since it creates movement in the phrase.

0:57 -- "go" is out of tune. I believe it's sharp, but this will partly get corrected if you approach the beginning part of the phrase the way I suggested.

1:00 -- "now, tell me, now, tell me, now, tell me" -- Same suggestion as for the "round and a round" line.

1:04 -- "know" is out of tune. I know this is a hard phrase to sing -- your support will be killing you by the end of it, but you need to think the "know" is going to be the loudest part of the phrase. That will help the intonation. So if you start approaching from the "now, tell me" as one long continuous crescendo culminating on the "know" and really accenting the "know", you should stay in tune better.

1:09 -- "not really sure" -- Keep a little bit more of a biting, edgy sound here, especially on the EE, because you want to lose closure a little. This will make the "sure" more precise and ring out more.

1:13 -- "SOMEthing...WAY" -- Those two notes go sharp.

1:17 -- "makes" should be more of a closed AY vowel going towards the little boy sound. It will allow you to keep better closure.

1:26 -- "stay" -- This is good, but just as a habit to get into, think you are going to swell (crescendo) the note as you hold it out. Once again, it will do wonders for your support.

1:37 -- "life" is out of tune. Sounds like Bay wasn't prepared to sing that note (like it just came in as an afterthought).

1:44 -- "SOMETHING....GIVen" goes sharp. If for this whole phrase, he thinks of it the way I mentioned earlier for you in the chorus notes with a crescendo, the intonation will be better.

1:53 -- "round and a round..." -- He needs to think of the same thing I told you.

2:04 -- "know" -- I would leave out that run because to me, it doesn't really fit with the mood of the song.

2:11 -- "feel" is sharp, mostly due to a breath management issue.

2:13 -- "something in the way you move" is sharp.

2:17 -- "makes" -- This is a pet peeve of mine, but the way he did that growl just sounds so phony to me, and in my opinion, would sound better left out of the song. It doesn't really seem to do anything to enhance the mood of the song. This type of growl would sound better in an light hearted pop song.

2:36 -- "OOO the reason I hold" sounds like you're behind the beat again. Also watch the pitch on "reason I hold on" -- you were flat there.

2:48 -- "gone" -- He's singing the wrong notes on the run. It actually sounds like he wasn't sure which notes he wanted to sing. You CAN sing it as A4-G4-E4, but it sounds more interesting to me to sing it as A4-G4-F4. If he can manage to sing those notes (especially the last one) correctly, it would sound really cool with the chord under him and in contrast to the line you sang right before him.

3:13 -- "something" goes sharp again. For whatever reason, this line keeps causing you to go sharp. Think of the little boy voice for this lower part of the phrase. That should help with intonation some.

Ok, that should be more than enough to work on for now. If you want more, let me know.

However I do agree with Owen on the ending and you guys overlapping tracks. That could have been more thought out. As it stands it's a bit busy with you guys just singing on top of each other. It's like listening to a singing race.
I did a track like that once with myself. I sang a song twice and put the tracks on top of each other and played it for critique and it didn't go over well. They were right. There's not enough contrast to keep interest.

Overall I think it was good singing wise. I hate to pick on Bay but...
Around the middle there....1 minute 50 or something where he sings "round and around and around we go" he left out the "d" at the end of all the words Round as well as around. He sings Roun and roun and aroun. Just a small thing but to me it was very noticeable.

Sounded good though

Felipe's comments definitely helped your mixing a lot. The main remaining difference is your track has clearer high end than Bay's. In the future you could try adding some high end EQ to Bay's and maybe even subtracting some from yours until they sound similar but you will have to be sure to be conservative about this adjustment. It may take a long bout of experimentation, several periods of resting your ears and returning to the mix, and assistance of a frequency analyzer plugin (blue cat audio freqanalyst is great) to visually compare high frequencies of the two recordings. And you may need a high shelf or a normal wide EQ up high or both, or a high shelf with some normal EQ to create narrow notches on certain key frequencies that are excessively overbearing or lacking. I can't give a specific answer because these situations are challenging and require on the spot experimentation but you can come out in the end with a better result with enough patience and attention to detail.

The only constructive singing comment I have is for the end part where you sing together, it would have been better to harmonize, or sing in unison, or just any kind of planned arrangement, rather than just leaving it up in the air. Right now with the two of you moving to the notes at different times with some riffs thrown in, it sounds like two separate recordings thrown on top of each other and I'm guessing that's not what you want. So more prior communication would be helpful here - I'm not sure how you would facilitate that if you are doing this long distance but I'm sure you can be creative and come up with an idea, be it through text explanation, sending back and forth trial and error drafts, a quick meeting on skype or phone, just some kind of extra bond of communication to pick notes and rhythms that work really great together.

I tried to do some more drastic eq like Felipe suggested.

In-depth constructive criticism is welcome

https://app.box.com/s/b0z0zglaqwptc9u6s9tg