First of all congrats on taking on such a difficult song and doing a good job at it!

It's good overall. I think the intensity is generally good, you don't sound like a choir boy. Most parts you are really nailing it, others there are a few things that you should continue working on.

Some notable areas for improvement, just going by my ear. I could be wrong.
-most of the B4's and C#5's you are singing more briefly are a bit too light compared to the notes below them. However, I think you nailed the intensity perfectly on the second verse so study what you did there!
-the held B4's on "night" sound like the perfect intensity as well, but I feel like a slightly darker vowel shade might help with your tone on those.
-I think you could use a lot more bright ping through your sound. ask Phil about this. I can hear there is a potential for a lot more growth in this area and I think it's ultimately what will fix the muddiness, not adding more weight.
-it's "living just to find emotion" not "willing just to find emotion" lol
-There are still a few words you will have to work on tweaking your pronunciation to sound more convincing, either as a singer's accent or pure english:
"living in" (you had it right on the first syllable, then you switched to UH vowels which is too far off. try to keep the vowel shade you had on the "liv" part. If you need more release, modify toward EH, not UH.)
"hiding", and "waiting" (you tend to pronounce the "ing" as "AA-uh-n" when the singer's accent should be more like EH-n. AA is too much jaw/tongue drop, reduce that a bit to get the EH and then just use the tip of the tongue to get the N, don't change anything in the back of the throat and that should get rid of that "uh" moment in the middle.)
"smoky" (you are singing smo-kAA, try keeping the pure EE so smo-kEE or modify only to Eh for smo-kEH. again AA just means a little too much jaw/tongue drop, reduce it a bit and you've got EH.)

There are lots of great moments in this too. That second verse you really nailed from start to finish, it actually had the same effect on me as what someone else mentioned in your Nirvana cover - I was able to distract myself and forget I was listening to a student because it just sounded very polished and professional. Also the fact that you are able to get a lighter but convincing intensity on the held B4's is a great accomplishment to be proud of. And the riff up to the E5 at the end is kickass IMO.