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Bringing on the Heartbreak by Deff Leppard
October 20, 2016
7:36 pm
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Gneetapp
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Hi guys, I got some time by myself at home and got the chance to re-record this one. Trying to show my whinny side. I hope you guys (the two of you) like it. I promise you this is the last one for this week. lol

November 19, 2016
8:01 am
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Felipe Carvalho
Brazil
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Hi man, is this an update to the last time I've heard you singing it? Can I listen to that previous version again?

Felipe Carvalho
Singer and Voice Teacher in Brasil - São Paulo

November 22, 2016
5:30 pm
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Gneetapp
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Hi Felipe, this is an update. The 1st version I recorded in July, and this one was in October. Here is the link to the previous version:
https://app.box.com/s/bc96apne2x4cifsdy8ey1uzszk3rb2ft

Cheers

November 23, 2016
8:04 pm
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Felipe Carvalho
Brazil
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There is a lot of improvement here, in special your voice is sounding more solid on the lower and mid sections, this is indeed the path to go.

If you pay attention to what you are doing now, you will notice that the higher sections also became a bit more solid, but there are still some insecure spots that are kinda going "in between", and in between kills us.

Can you try something, just on the lower sections, whistle (with air) a little bit, then start a humming sound trying to make it "begin" on the exact place where you feel the whistle.

Then practice this and go through the first verses humming and doing whatever it takes to keep it there without constricting your throat. Then sing. Tell me what happens.

Felipe Carvalho
Singer and Voice Teacher in Brasil - São Paulo

November 26, 2016
11:42 am
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Gneetapp
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Hi Felipe, thanks for stopping by, listening, and also for the kind words. I will try the whistle thing and report later. Thanks man!

December 4, 2016
12:37 pm
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JonJon
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October 9, 2016
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nice update

I am going to give some advice to you and to ME at the same time. (something I have noticed on myself lately)

Most of these singers are WAY more expressive than we give them credit for. So when we try to do a cover or original we are just more or less worried about hitting the notes etc. We are leaving out about 80% of the soul or expressiveness.

Just a tiny bit of a line like "Gypsy, sitting looking pretty".....Joe Elliot puts a lot of feeling and inflections into it etc.

An exercise for all of us would be to just record and rerecord that ONE line and see how much feel and expression we can get into it. Even going to the point of be OVER expressive and silly....just to find our limits etc etc

Like I said, im preaching to myself because I have been listening to a lot of David Lee Roth and dude was SO soulful and expressive

Also the timing and meter comes into play. The great singers play with the timing etc to make it soulful. A couple of times I noticed your phrasing was off. Like Joe said "Lady how you hooooollldd... the key" but you said it more uniform like "Lady how you hold the key"

Instead of rushing into the next word, as an experiment, see how long you can WAIT before going to the next word. Again, overemphasize it as an experiment to find the outer boundaries and then find the correct spot in the middle

December 5, 2016
12:44 pm
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Gneetapp
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Hi JonJon, thanks a lot for stoping by and giving a listen. Great tips, man! I agree with you 100%. I just started to pay more attention to those things, also tone. But In the beginning I could only pray I would "hit" the right notes...lol. I feel my weakest link in this song at this moment is the 2nd "Can't you see" (the high one) in the pre-chorus. So, I fell much more comfortable now to explore other important aspects of singing in the relatively lower pitches of this song. Cheers

December 17, 2016
10:52 pm
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TommyTheHat
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Yo Gneetap!

I like the sound of your voice on this ...it fits well. What I feel are weak points are this. Control. I feel a lack of control in your voice, I listened closely to hear if it might be a support issue but can't really tell. However I would attempt to work on breath control to enhance power where needed as well as control. A few other issues may be pronunciation of words. I guess English is not your language so this is an issue. I listened to a bit of your first version and you said the word I'm referring to correctly; but here on his version at the beginning. "sitting looking pretty" you didn't say "pretty." What you said was "preteen.' That makes that word end in a consonant. On this particular phrase..no big deal. But if the note gets high then dealing with a consonant rather than a vowel on a hard to reach note ain't gonna work. So you'll have to watch that because it may be happening elsewhere in your songs. How you pronounce words ( is that annunciation?) will make a difference.

On other high spots it's a similar issue. "Can't you see." Too much EE on the word see. This may work better with modification because it seems high and strained for you here. . More of a sound closer to the "I" in the word SIT. Or "Ehh." That might work better. But I have to agree with Jonjon. Understanding the lyrics and then expressing the feelings goes a long way. Related to that and imo very important is phrasing. I think your phrasing is off which leads to difficulty in relating the message and emotion as well as hitting certain notes. Sometimes if you phrase something wrong you cut the vocal line and can't use one note to get to the next. Sometimes I ramp up to head voice with control of a phrase. But I have to connect notes somehow or use one to get to the next etc. Well, that's what works for me anyway. And the phrasing has to lend to the interpretation of the song and the expression/emotion. The feel.

Somewhere mid song ... 2:35 or something...the line "Taking on the best of me." Instead of "taking" you say "Taiking." (sounds like Tyking). Ok...I'm sure it's a language thing. But this is almost a diphthong and makes it harder to get the note. You can't modify the "a" vowel with that "i" in there. So there are little things and I believe some may be language related but they are making it harder for you to get the notes. Sometimes you have to fake worlds (modify) into sounds. You'll know but the audience won't. I think with a language difference and an accent this may become an issue that can affect pitch and range as well as phrasing.

Just my thoughts. Smile

Good job!

I love this song. I remember when it came out!Cool

Tommy

"It's not how many notes you know. It's what you do with them."

January 4, 2017
1:31 pm
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Gneetapp
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Hi Tommy, thank you so much for stopping by and especially for the in-depth analysis. Sorry it took me such a long time to come back to this post. I've been busy with the end of the year.

TommyTheHat said
Yo Gneetap!

I like the sound of your voice on this ...it fits well.

>>Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot to me!

What I feel are weak points are this. Control. I feel a lack of control in your voice, I listened closely to hear if it might be a support issue but can't really tell. However I would attempt to work on breath control to enhance power where needed as well as control.

>>Yeah! I'm always trying to improve my breath control.

A few other issues may be pronunciation of words. I guess English is not your language so this is an issue. I listened to a bit of your first version and you said the word I'm referring to correctly; but here on his version at the beginning. "sitting looking pretty" you didn't say "pretty." What you said was "preteen.' That makes that word end in a consonant. On this particular phrase..no big deal. But if the note gets high then dealing with a consonant rather than a vowel on a hard to reach note ain't gonna work. So you'll have to watch that because it may be happening elsewhere in your songs. How you pronounce words ( is that annunciation?) will make a difference.

>>Dude! You are spot on! I only noticed that line (looking pretty/preteen) because you pointed out. Thanks. Even though I am fluent in English, it is still my second language. I will be more careful with how I pronounce the words.

On other high spots it's a similar issue. "Can't you see." Too much EE on the word see. This may work better with modification because it seems high and strained for you here. . More of a sound closer to the "I" in the word SIT. Or "Ehh." That might work better.

>>I'll definitely try that vowel mod.

But I have to agree with Jonjon. Understanding the lyrics and then expressing the feelings goes a long way. Related to that and imo very important is phrasing. I think your phrasing is off which leads to difficulty in relating the message and emotion as well as hitting certain notes. Sometimes if you phrase something wrong you cut the vocal line and can't use one note to get to the next. Sometimes I ramp up to head voice with control of a phrase. But I have to connect notes somehow or use one to get to the next etc. Well, that's what works for me anyway. And the phrasing has to lend to the interpretation of the song and the expression/emotion. The feel.

>>I feel I'm off-beat sometimes (or many times) during the song, but I didn't feel I lack emotion. I will practice more this song, which is something I rarely do, so I get the timing tighter, which could free my mind to focus more on the interpretation/emotion.

Somewhere mid song ... 2:35 or something...the line "Taking on the best of me." Instead of "taking" you say "Taiking." (sounds like Tyking). Ok...I'm sure it's a language thing. But this is almost a diphthong and makes it harder to get the note. You can't modify the "a" vowel with that "i" in there. So there are little things and I believe some may be language related but they are making it harder for you to get the notes. Sometimes you have to fake worlds (modify) into sounds. You'll know but the audience won't. I think with a language difference and an accent this may become an issue that can affect pitch and range as well as phrasing.

>>This line was intentional, as I tried to sound like the lead singer, trying to fake an Australian-like accent. I'm aware that diphthongs are a biatch when singing higher pitches, as I've been tripped a few times. But as this line was low in pitch I didn't mind.

Just my thoughts. Smile

Good job!

I love this song. I remember when it came out!Cool

Tommy  

Thank you so much bro!

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